Tulip Girl

Dan and I have learned this morning as we had an emergency ultra sound that we have had our second miscarriage. Though we should be at twelve weeks. Our baby, Charis, didn't grow past the six week point. Tomorrow I will be having a D&C so the doctors can do some tests. Your prayers are much appreciated. We firmly believe that God is in control and He grieves right along with us. Our babies, Adam (Little Bit) and Charis are both safely tucked away in Heaven. My prayer is that through this those who don't know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior can see that He is our comfort and our protection during this difficult time and desires to be the same for them. My good friend April in her loss of her son, Eli at five months in utero wrote a poem on her blog that speaks volumes. I encourage you to click on her link and read it. Thank you again for your prayers. Charis is the Greek word used for Grace in the New Testament as well as the word used to explain that Jesus ...

I am sitting quite cozily on my couch this morning as I get ready for church. My Bible open next to me I read, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted in the earth. The LORD Almighty is with us..." Wow, how true is that. I have been going and going lately and shortly I will be off again, but for this moment I can just sit and remember that while I do, He does all through me. What a peace it is to know that God is working in and through me flaws of mine and all. Yesterday the Love Boat Dinner Theater went off amazingly. The lunch time went off smoothly though we were a bit on the nervous side. Everybody appeared to enjoy themselves. I don't think I had anyone fooled with my southern accent though. I'm pretty sure from the strange looks I got that they had it figured out. I would just like to say that it is amazing what you can get away with saying when you are in character and I will leave that at that. I owe some of my lines to Dustin, Dan...

I would just like to say that I officially do not like Mondays. I used to like Mondays. Not so much anymore. After relaxing and sleeping in on the weekend, waking up before the rooster that lives behind my house Monday morning, I am so off my A game. I feel like that poster with Garfield all frazzled and expressing his dislike for Mondays. Okay now that I have complained about that, I love being pregnant. Now that my stomach has completely relaxed, a glass of orange juice makes me look more pregnant. Unfortunately it's that time when I mostly just look like I drink to much beer. I'm looking foreword to the looking pregnant part plus the absence of motion sickness and only eating basically tasteless food will be good.

My husband is one of the greatest men in the whole universe. Valentines Day is just another day for me to realize how important he is to me. As a matter of fact today he had flowers delivered to me at the office. I am so so blessed. I have them out in the common area for all to see and so all can enjoy them. Dan has been so great about my new job. As you can imagine being in my first trimester (8 weeks exactly today) and starting a new job I have been very tired and cranky lately. He told me the other day the only answer he has for me when I'm unreasonable is "I love you." I think I can live with that. He has really taken care of me and made things more bearable lately. He continually amazes me as he supports me in whatever I decide to do with my life. I am so blessed.

This week I have gotten a little better at my job. I hired a person yesterday. That is very exciting. I have some prospective others who are possible hires. We will have to see. Yesterday I was so busy that I ended up getting a severe migraine. I woke up with it this morning but at least it wasn't as bad. I'm feeling a lot better now. I have to be very careful to eat when I am hungry though or I'm in trouble. This morning I figured I needed to eat more breakfast so I made twice as much Malt-O-Meal. I didn't even eat as much as I usually do. It made me quite ill. I gagged on it and then gave up. I ate lunch though and that is good. I just hope morning sickness isn't kicking in. I've done so good so far. I told the people I work with today. They are all quite excited for me I think. Well, that is it for me. I am now seven weeks along. That isn't far, but every week gets me closer to D-Day. I am so eager to meet this child. I am so excited.

During the music part of the worship service I finally felt like I had some relief from the crazy hormonal pregnant crankiness. I put my all into singing to God and felt like my heart would burst with joy rather than malice and impatience. Today, Brother Todd spoke about Revelation 20. There was so much in there to talk about that he didn't get to say all he wanted to. It was great none the less though, I mean, the faith of those like Abraham, Moses, David, Ruth, and Deborah. Who am I that my faith should be any less than Abraham, Moses or David who had only faith in what was to come and I have the knowledge of what has been completed on my behalf through Christ Jesus death and resurrection. Here I have God's word in my hand (several versions for that matter). I have not just a promise for a future event but it has been done, the promise I lay my faith in happened long long ago. I ponder on that and wonder why my faith can be so weak. I am praying about how to be the b...

Finally I'm blogging about it. Dan and I went to the doctor yesterday and got to see our six week old baby and his or her beautiful heart beat. The baby still resembles a lizard but man that heart beat was an awesome sight. Dan and I found out exactly two weeks after Christmas that God gave us this wonderful little Christmas present. I had taken a test Saturday morning and though it was negative, Dan still wouldn't let me go rake leaves in the yards with him. I stayed in side and painted (perfectly safe at that point with a well ventilated room). Then on Tuesday morning since my period hadn't started and I wanted to finish raking the leaves, I took another test and there it was the little digital sign said pregnant. The only indicator I had that I was pregnant was that I kept forgetting my purse everywhere. My memory was the first thing to go, a little known problem known as pregnancy brain. It's a good thing we have good insurance on the house because I can nev...