Tulip Girl

I am so thankful to be able to see faith in Jesus played out in the lives of my fellow Christ followers. I am filled with joy when I see blessings poured out through happy moments. However the mountains of my heart are moved when I see the blessings poured out in moments of struggle, grief and sorrow. I have been praying for friends who are struggling in their marriage and have held friends after the grief of lost loved ones. There is something about standing with a fellow believer amidst their storm expecting to be a comfort only to realize Christ in them has plans for me as well. Those are truly humbling moments where my own shame of unbelief comes to light. I am amazed when those I observe are filled with the peace of Jesus' promises, they are not alone and He is still in control. Oh, how I stood doubting even as I prayed for them. I recently found the site for Lifeway marriage that contains many supportive and helpful articles from couples willing to share what God has i...

Our pastor, Todd, has been going through a topical study outlining what the Bible has to say on different aspects of the family structure. He has talked about fighting fair, communication, forgiveness, the role of a husband, the role of the wife and I believe soon he will discuss the relationship between parents and children. The change that is to come in our family has been in the fore front of my mind as I contemplate how a child will change my relationship with Dan. One way I have done that is assess what ways I divert to when I am tired or stressed. So far Dan and I both go easy on each other when we admit we are being cranky because usually they are very short lived. When the baby comes no sleep and things will surely make for a lot more cranky moments. I've been considering how I am when I revert to what I call my "flesh pattern". I am either ruled by the spirit and follow after Christ or I follow my flesh pattern and seek after only what works for me. I know...

In a couple weeks I will be starting the Breaking Free study by Beth Moore. Approaching this task of facilitating I have not felt more unworthy for a task. I desire so much to be a gift and an instrument for God to those I will take this journey with. My own relationship with God these days has become so handicapped by my flesh and sin I feel that God has done nothing but carry me. Where once I enjoyed our morning conversations, His wise words and listening ears, I now find myself in a daze beseeching Him through out my day to not forget me and our closeness. I also know that I am safely established in His grip and the security of His grace is not dependent upon the consistency of my formulated prayer times and Bible readings. I have recently gone through a study to get more acquainted with Jesus' time on earth and realized how rag tag his disciples were not getting half of what He said arguing over petty things such as prominence in Heaven. I am in a way delighted to find th...

Who can believe how expensive groceries are getting. I can barely if ever keep groceries for just Dan and me under a $100 these days (of course my newly obtained eating habits do have something to do with that). So far I am trying to get what I can at Big Lots and the rest at Wal-Mart. I've gone to a few other places and keep my receipts so I can compare prices on stuff. Pretty soon we will renew our Costco membership which will help on some items. I am excited my parents plan to come visit us when we have our ultra sound to find out whether we have a boy or girl. Then my mom can help us get the baby's room started. Regardless of whether it is a boy or girl, there will be bugs. A boy's room will be all bugs like bugs for boys should be and if it is a girl, then it will be more of a frog prince and princess with bugs. I'm really looking forward to it. With my sister and her two girls at my parents for the school year while my brother-in-law is in Holond, I am so ...

I've always had particularly crazy dreams. I almost always know I'm dreaming. More often than not the are full blown stories with a plot line. Rarely is there ever people I know in my dreams. Generally the only people I know that are ever in my dreams are my mom and my brother Justin. Pregnancy has changed all that. Though my dreams are still crazy, I don't know I am dreaming which really disconcerts me. Where I used to be in control, now I'm not. Though there are still plot lines, my dreams are more scene to crazy scene totally disconnected. I have been dreaming about every body I know. The good news is that Dan has finally made it into my dreams, so have my other siblings as well as friends I see both everyday or haven't seen in over a year. All of them reflect my tumultuous emotions. I dreamed about a group of friends from my previous church all wearing lime green shirts and they were all cranky and then I realized I had on a lime green shirt also. I als...

Today I am officially twelve weeks along. I can hardly believe it. After this point I am officially in uncharted territory for me. My belly is growing like it should (unfortunately with a few stretch marks. Blah!) Now that I am starting to see things in a different light, I am starting to see things that need to be done. For starters, I've started painting all the base boards and door frames. The previous owners smoked as well as, best I can tell, exploded coca cola in every room so what wasn't painted has spatters of who knows what. Next week I will paint all the doors. I will wait until the last trimester to get the carpet shampooed. I should get the air ducts cleaned out as well. Before you start thinking I may become a "germaphobe", don't worry. While I want my house clean for our baby, I have every intention of introducing them to germs and dirt, especially dirt.:)

I found a good coated small prenatal yesterday. Thank you all for your suggestions. I thought Theresa was offering to find me an actual gun to shoot the pills. I laughed because that wasn't far off from what I wanted to do with them. Of course then I felt goofey when I realized what she was talking about. I did, though, have to find the right pill because, I admit, I am lazy so doing anything to the pill before I take it is to much. I am so thankful that our child may be growing up in this house (I have moved to much and am honestly so into it that I can't say for sure we'll stay because the nomad in me). Our Cul-de- sac (sp?) is nicely tucked away and the wildlife is precious. As Dan put it, we have a smorgisboard of critters. Two days ago Dan and I stood at our kitchen window, and saw Ollie the ground hog, Bandit and Bandita the raccoons, Junior and Junior's kitten, Leo III. It was awesome to see them in our creek at the same time. Its such a great place for...

This week I will be at 11 weeks. I am finally out of the tired always queezy stage. That is room for celebration. I do have one question though. Why in the world do the prenatal vitamins have to be so darn big?! I, not unlike every other pregnant woman, have a very sensitive gag reflex. I have now tried about four or five different prenatal vitamins and they either taste unbearable and/or are almost to big for me to swallow. I take my pills right at bedtime and its always a battle. Calcium pills are also huge in case you didn't know. I found one prenatal vitamin that is both small and tasteless, but it is a prescription which means its around forty dollars a month. If any body knows of a good prenatal vitamin, let me know. I'm next going to try the Target brand because I heard good things about them. I also take my pills with yogurt or pudding. That helps some of the time. Thank you for letting me rant. :)