Our pastor, Todd, has been going through a topical study outlining what the Bible has to say on different aspects of the family structure. He has talked about fighting fair, communication, forgiveness, the role of a husband, the role of the wife and I believe soon he will discuss the relationship between parents and children. The change that is to come in our family has been in the fore front of my mind as I contemplate how a child will change my relationship with Dan. One way I have done that is assess what ways I divert to when I am tired or stressed. So far Dan and I both go easy on each other when we admit we are being cranky because usually they are very short lived. When the baby comes no sleep and things will surely make for a lot more cranky moments. I've been considering how I am when I revert to what I call my "flesh pattern". I am either ruled by the spirit and follow after Christ or I follow my flesh pattern and seek after only what works for me.
I know that as a woman, I communicate a lot more with my nonverbals than I do with actual words. While my words are not harsh my tone of voice and body language can be scathing. I've been praying that God weeds out the areas of my heart that cause me to choose my comfort over Dan's. One thing Dan has shared with me and I try to be mindful of is when he asks a question I answer with a "Your stupid for not knowing the answer" tone of voice. Bad habit. Dan and I are both working on considering the different complaints we have for each other without immediately coming up with complaints of our own. Consider the truthfulness of each complaint first, apologize if needed move on.
That is only part of it but then again I also realize being mindful becomes sitting around stewing over what could happen and is only so successful until it becomes destructive. So before the baby comes we are working on strengthening our relationship before then.
I know that as a woman, I communicate a lot more with my nonverbals than I do with actual words. While my words are not harsh my tone of voice and body language can be scathing. I've been praying that God weeds out the areas of my heart that cause me to choose my comfort over Dan's. One thing Dan has shared with me and I try to be mindful of is when he asks a question I answer with a "Your stupid for not knowing the answer" tone of voice. Bad habit. Dan and I are both working on considering the different complaints we have for each other without immediately coming up with complaints of our own. Consider the truthfulness of each complaint first, apologize if needed move on.
That is only part of it but then again I also realize being mindful becomes sitting around stewing over what could happen and is only so successful until it becomes destructive. So before the baby comes we are working on strengthening our relationship before then.
Comments