A Grief Observed

My many blessings have been a comfort to me as of late. These days I remind myself when my mind is saddened that I have an amazing husband, family, friends, home, country and job. Most of all I have a savior who saw me as worth dieing for and so did that I might choose to spend eternity with Him. In these things I am very thankful.

One thing lately I find difficult is finding the balance between being thankful and grieving. I am quite burnt out at this point. I am hoping to find renewing on the women's retreat in April. Dan is a constant strength often times baring with grace my struggling mood.

This past weekend Dan and I visited a friend out of town. While out we went to Barnes & Noble. I found the book A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I've only read the first chapter so far. C.S. Lewis' thoughts are a light into myself. He puts into words the thoughts and feelings of grief that can help us all realize we are not alone when we grieve. I tried to find a quote from the book that would represent it but every sentence is powerful so to take any of it away from the rest at this point would not do it justice. Douglas H. Gresham wrote in the foreword of his stepfather's writings, "In a sense it is not a book at all; it is, rather, the passionate result of a brave man turning to face his agony and examine it in order that he might further understand what is required of us in living this life in a which we have to expect the pain and sorrow of the loss of those whom we love. It is true to say that very few men could have written this book, and even truer to say that even fewer would have written this book even if they could, fewer still would have published it even if they had written it."

Grief is not something only a few experience but an illness all of us at one point in our life will catch. I have lost two babies before I met them while Mr. Lewis has lost his wife to cancer (both his parents died of cancer as well at that point). I have encountered conversations of who's grief is more legitimate and I dare say there is never to be a comparison for love is as it is and when the object of it is gone then what is left is no different for any who face it.