Thought provoking
I just read a post on Warren Baldwin's blog, "WHAT CAN I DO?" I know it seems to early to start thinking about when Miss Wiggles turns 18, but, well, I think it is none to early.
Having just started a business I've learned every new business needs a business plan, a mission statement and a purpose. Parenting is like that as well. Having a purpose helps set a foundation for a business plan a way to implement it. A mission statement helps convey what your purpose is. Why not apply this to parenting. the course may change and so will how we handle things. Miss Wiggle's personality will determine consequences and discipline and we dont' know how that will play out yet. We do however know what our goals are for her. We know what our goals are not.
We want Miss Wiggles as well as our next child to be a functioning adult, succesful, independent. Financial saviness is a priority. Commitment to goals is another. Quiting when things are "too hard" is not a goal, taking responsibility for own actions is important. The list goes one.
The reason we think about it now is so we aren't left standing in the thick of it and deciding then what to do. When football players go out onto the field, they are well prepared, practiced, knowledgable, team players. One guy doesn't stand there on the field, get the ball in his hands and yell back to the coach, "Hey what do I do now?" He is well prepared and ready to act. There will be plenty of moments when I will stand there scratching my head unsure what to do. With forethought, prayer and faith, I will hopefully be able to make better desicions when I face these moments. When I don't make the right choice, humility to admit it is key but that is another post for another time.
What I would love for parents of older children to share with me and others reading this blog is how do you teach your children responsibility, integrity, team player, etc.? While I know what my goals are for Miss Wiggles, implementation is still something I am learning. What are some creative ways you have come up with to teach your child?
Having just started a business I've learned every new business needs a business plan, a mission statement and a purpose. Parenting is like that as well. Having a purpose helps set a foundation for a business plan a way to implement it. A mission statement helps convey what your purpose is. Why not apply this to parenting. the course may change and so will how we handle things. Miss Wiggle's personality will determine consequences and discipline and we dont' know how that will play out yet. We do however know what our goals are for her. We know what our goals are not.
We want Miss Wiggles as well as our next child to be a functioning adult, succesful, independent. Financial saviness is a priority. Commitment to goals is another. Quiting when things are "too hard" is not a goal, taking responsibility for own actions is important. The list goes one.
The reason we think about it now is so we aren't left standing in the thick of it and deciding then what to do. When football players go out onto the field, they are well prepared, practiced, knowledgable, team players. One guy doesn't stand there on the field, get the ball in his hands and yell back to the coach, "Hey what do I do now?" He is well prepared and ready to act. There will be plenty of moments when I will stand there scratching my head unsure what to do. With forethought, prayer and faith, I will hopefully be able to make better desicions when I face these moments. When I don't make the right choice, humility to admit it is key but that is another post for another time.
What I would love for parents of older children to share with me and others reading this blog is how do you teach your children responsibility, integrity, team player, etc.? While I know what my goals are for Miss Wiggles, implementation is still something I am learning. What are some creative ways you have come up with to teach your child?
Comments
You are already doing many of the right things to help your children be spiritual, responsible and independent when they are 18 to 20.
Taking them to worship is one big thing (taking them, not sending them, is the key. Being there with them is so important).
Practicing your faith openly. That doesn't mean you have to be preaching at them all the time, or quoting Bible verses; that can actually turn kids off. But let them see your Christian ethic in how you talk on the phone, answer the door, respond to someone you are upset with, treat your spouse, handle your finances, etc.
Be involved in their lives. Go to their community sports events, and even coach their team when they are little, if you know anything about the sport. Often when they are younger you don't need tremendous skill or previous experience to coach them; you can find other parents to help with some of that. But you do need parents who want to be out there to help the kids learn at least a few basics, and have fun doing it. That means a lot to your kids.
Teach them to respect you and obey your word when they are very young. Fight that battle when they are 12 to 38 months. You will still have to deal with some skirmishes when they are 16 to 18 years old, but if you win the critical battles early on, the later battles are more endurable. If parents wait to fight the big battles of respect when the kids are 16 to 18, the kids have the upper hand.
Talk to your kids about issues in their lives. Engage them, take their issues seriously, but don't get caught up in them. There is nothing worse than the mother or father of a 5th grade girl who themselves have not progessed beyond a 5th grade mentality. Cheryl and I have dealt with them, and they are worse than dealing with the kids! Help them to understand the relationship dynamics going on in the 5th through middle school years so that they can critically evaluate them and not get lost in them. One example: many middle school kids (girls especially) are prone to gossipy behavior and very rude, mean behavior to other girls that don't fit in their group. Odds are, your daughter, like my 2 girls, will not fit in with a group like that, and at times she will feel lost, alone and hurt. That is ok!! Just be there with her, helping her to understand what is going on, and encouraging her to not treat some other poor girl that way. She will still feel the hurt, but once she understands what is going on she will be able to process it better and not become one of the mean-spirited kids. That is a tough time, but they will get through it.
Well, this is a few things off the top of my head that Cheryl and I have tried to do. God bless you and your husband in this exciting, challenging, trying journey known as parenting!
Warren