What is Forgiveness?
During my prayer time this morning I was reading the Jesus devotional, 90 Days With the One and Only by Beth Moore. God opened my eyes some more as to what forgiveness is and what it is not. The Bible verses that brought this to light was, "You must not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor directly, and you will not incur guilt because of him. Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against members of your community, but love your neighbor as yourself." Lev. 19:17-18 and "If he(or she) sins against you even times a day, and comes back to seven times, saying "I repent," you must forgive him." Luke 17:3-4
Sometimes forgiveness is not a "fix it and forget it" process there are wrongs someone that cause a day by day need for renewed forgiveness. Many times friends have shared with me how others they trusted turned on them. There have have been friends who became bullies and others who took our deepest secrets and made them lunch time gossip topics. I have heard teens and adults alike share their experiences. The type of forgiveness for these kind of wrongs are certainly not a one time deal. Several years ago, the selfishness of a friend wreaked consequences in my life that I am not likely to forget for a very long time. I have forgiven this person but there are still times that anger boils in me and bitterness is liable to set in. As a good friend, Sharon, once shared with me, it was not because I did not forgive but that there are continued consequences of the wrong done. Though I have forgiven the initial wrong, I will also continue to forgive that person for the consequences it plays out in my life. That is not to say I call that person up, but that I pray to God and let him know in my own heart I forgive. Forgiveness is certainly not easy and I find praying for that person, that God will work His healing in their lives, bring them to a relationship with Him or make their existing relationship stronger. I pray for their well being and somewhere along the line, I am healed as well. In high school, my mom prompted me to pray for a bully and in the process, not only did I see the effects in her life, but I felt them in my own as well. Because, face it, we would be lieing to ourselves if we thought there were not people out their needing to forgive us.
Forgiveness is also not a forgive and forget. The reason it is an "and" is because forget is not synonymous with forgive. The example that came to me in my prayer time was if I have a babysitter who I find has stolen from me, I can forgive her but not continue to trust her and use her services. There are always consequences to our actions and while it is not always our job to be a part of the consequences in an offender's life, some times it is. Forgiveness does not mean continued abuse, or continued neglect or what ever the case entails. When forgiveness is given, regardless of whether it is received, I believe a new opportunity arises; accountability. As the verse says, rebuke your neighbor in love and without holding a grudge. Dan brought to my attention an area of my life that had negative consequences in his life. It was not pleasant for me to here, but knowing he shared it with my out of love for me with no ill intent spurred me on to seek prayer over the matter and ultimate repentance. He is holding me accountable to further healthy growth in the matter because he loves me and desires good for me.
Lastly, while forgiveness sometimes is for the wrong doer, it is ALWAYS for the offended. The unforgiveness and resulting bitterness hurts us and diminishes our own lives. It can lead us to be hurtful to others causing those around us to have a need to forgive us. I don't think I like the idea of not forgiving someone only to turn around and expect another person to forgive me. Face it, that is seriously hypocritical and I know I'm guilty of just that. A couple of incidences where I'm guilty of this pop into my head on command, I don't even need to think long on it. It makes me cringe. These are times when not only do I need forgive,and seek forgiveness from others, I need to forgive me which is a whole topic in and of it's self.
I am thankful that while I struggle with forgiveness, God never does. Jesus' death on the cross for sin was a one time deal and cannot be undone. I fail God daily and daily he forgives me. I love the cute prayer where the person asks God to forgive her for her sins so far that day and she wasn't even out of bed yet. I so relate! My prayer for you who read this and those you love is that you can experience the same healing process that forgiveness brings and that we never keep unforgiveness or the struggle to forgive a secret. Satan loves to shame us into silence calling our struggles dirty laundry or shameful or even wrong on our part trapping us in that silence. There is power in numbers. Jesus sent the disciples out two by two and later the 72 our two by two. The Bible also states that a cord of three is not easily broken so with a trusted adviser and the precious Holy Spirit, we can be set free.
Sometimes forgiveness is not a "fix it and forget it" process there are wrongs someone that cause a day by day need for renewed forgiveness. Many times friends have shared with me how others they trusted turned on them. There have have been friends who became bullies and others who took our deepest secrets and made them lunch time gossip topics. I have heard teens and adults alike share their experiences. The type of forgiveness for these kind of wrongs are certainly not a one time deal. Several years ago, the selfishness of a friend wreaked consequences in my life that I am not likely to forget for a very long time. I have forgiven this person but there are still times that anger boils in me and bitterness is liable to set in. As a good friend, Sharon, once shared with me, it was not because I did not forgive but that there are continued consequences of the wrong done. Though I have forgiven the initial wrong, I will also continue to forgive that person for the consequences it plays out in my life. That is not to say I call that person up, but that I pray to God and let him know in my own heart I forgive. Forgiveness is certainly not easy and I find praying for that person, that God will work His healing in their lives, bring them to a relationship with Him or make their existing relationship stronger. I pray for their well being and somewhere along the line, I am healed as well. In high school, my mom prompted me to pray for a bully and in the process, not only did I see the effects in her life, but I felt them in my own as well. Because, face it, we would be lieing to ourselves if we thought there were not people out their needing to forgive us.
Forgiveness is also not a forgive and forget. The reason it is an "and" is because forget is not synonymous with forgive. The example that came to me in my prayer time was if I have a babysitter who I find has stolen from me, I can forgive her but not continue to trust her and use her services. There are always consequences to our actions and while it is not always our job to be a part of the consequences in an offender's life, some times it is. Forgiveness does not mean continued abuse, or continued neglect or what ever the case entails. When forgiveness is given, regardless of whether it is received, I believe a new opportunity arises; accountability. As the verse says, rebuke your neighbor in love and without holding a grudge. Dan brought to my attention an area of my life that had negative consequences in his life. It was not pleasant for me to here, but knowing he shared it with my out of love for me with no ill intent spurred me on to seek prayer over the matter and ultimate repentance. He is holding me accountable to further healthy growth in the matter because he loves me and desires good for me.
Lastly, while forgiveness sometimes is for the wrong doer, it is ALWAYS for the offended. The unforgiveness and resulting bitterness hurts us and diminishes our own lives. It can lead us to be hurtful to others causing those around us to have a need to forgive us. I don't think I like the idea of not forgiving someone only to turn around and expect another person to forgive me. Face it, that is seriously hypocritical and I know I'm guilty of just that. A couple of incidences where I'm guilty of this pop into my head on command, I don't even need to think long on it. It makes me cringe. These are times when not only do I need forgive,and seek forgiveness from others, I need to forgive me which is a whole topic in and of it's self.
I am thankful that while I struggle with forgiveness, God never does. Jesus' death on the cross for sin was a one time deal and cannot be undone. I fail God daily and daily he forgives me. I love the cute prayer where the person asks God to forgive her for her sins so far that day and she wasn't even out of bed yet. I so relate! My prayer for you who read this and those you love is that you can experience the same healing process that forgiveness brings and that we never keep unforgiveness or the struggle to forgive a secret. Satan loves to shame us into silence calling our struggles dirty laundry or shameful or even wrong on our part trapping us in that silence. There is power in numbers. Jesus sent the disciples out two by two and later the 72 our two by two. The Bible also states that a cord of three is not easily broken so with a trusted adviser and the precious Holy Spirit, we can be set free.
Comments