The Oh So Too Daily Battle
Lately I have been coming to an awareness of, well, the dueling Katie's in me, the proverbial Angel and Demon on my shoulders. This is what I have realized. I choose to follow Christ and my flesh or sin nature is not going to go away but I decide how big that sin creature is in me and what kind of impact it will have in my life.
I have chosen lately to study the Book of James because it isn't going to offer the warm fluff and all things good encouragement that I have gravitated towards. I don't want so much encouragement for what I'm doing as much as I want to know what in the world am I supposed to be doing.
I will call it my parasite, the sin nature I mean.
I remember as a child..or a couple weeks ago really, when in rough housing, I could run to my mom and hide behind her and my siblings...or nieces could not wreak the retribution on me deserved of my recent actions (we were horsing around in the pool, what can I say, yes I'm the one that taught them to spit water). Any way, my point is that...well, maybe that doesn't fit as well. My point is despite the ill fitted analogy (I think funny none the less, so I'm not deleting it) is that when I stay close to God then the havoc of the parasite is diminished. I wish I could say it is down to zero, but alas I may be a sinner saved my grace, I am a sinner none the less.
My parasite makes me second guess my good intentions sometimes to the point of silencing me. Last weekend I told one of the youth that Dan and I agreed he was looking particularly handsome that day. He looked at me funny which I figured he would but though in my head I knew that, I knew deeper still that a compliment is a good thing and even if he was uncomfortable with some married mom telling him he was handsome, well, ok this is going no where fast. Anyway, compliments are good to give and my parasite tries to silence me. He does that to a lot of things and in addition to stopping me from doing good things the parasite gets me to do sinful things like be prideful, lie, say hurtful things to Dan, etc. You get the point. Like I said about feelings, no one makes you feel anything and so also no one can make me do or not do something without my permission. I have to daily lay my life down before the LORD and let Him live through me because any action I take will be in the wrong direction.
Anyway thats all a bit rambling, but I'm not going to clean it up, 'cause I rather you see it raw and not polished. I'm just another preson like every body else trying to make sense of things, stumbling and getting back up again. Despite the confusing way my mind works, there is one thing I know is clear and true:
I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me and the life that I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave His life up for me. Galations 2:20
I have chosen lately to study the Book of James because it isn't going to offer the warm fluff and all things good encouragement that I have gravitated towards. I don't want so much encouragement for what I'm doing as much as I want to know what in the world am I supposed to be doing.
I will call it my parasite, the sin nature I mean.
I remember as a child..or a couple weeks ago really, when in rough housing, I could run to my mom and hide behind her and my siblings...or nieces could not wreak the retribution on me deserved of my recent actions (we were horsing around in the pool, what can I say, yes I'm the one that taught them to spit water). Any way, my point is that...well, maybe that doesn't fit as well. My point is despite the ill fitted analogy (I think funny none the less, so I'm not deleting it) is that when I stay close to God then the havoc of the parasite is diminished. I wish I could say it is down to zero, but alas I may be a sinner saved my grace, I am a sinner none the less.
My parasite makes me second guess my good intentions sometimes to the point of silencing me. Last weekend I told one of the youth that Dan and I agreed he was looking particularly handsome that day. He looked at me funny which I figured he would but though in my head I knew that, I knew deeper still that a compliment is a good thing and even if he was uncomfortable with some married mom telling him he was handsome, well, ok this is going no where fast. Anyway, compliments are good to give and my parasite tries to silence me. He does that to a lot of things and in addition to stopping me from doing good things the parasite gets me to do sinful things like be prideful, lie, say hurtful things to Dan, etc. You get the point. Like I said about feelings, no one makes you feel anything and so also no one can make me do or not do something without my permission. I have to daily lay my life down before the LORD and let Him live through me because any action I take will be in the wrong direction.
Anyway thats all a bit rambling, but I'm not going to clean it up, 'cause I rather you see it raw and not polished. I'm just another preson like every body else trying to make sense of things, stumbling and getting back up again. Despite the confusing way my mind works, there is one thing I know is clear and true:
I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me and the life that I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave His life up for me. Galations 2:20
Comments
BTW, you taught them to spit water? URG! :) You also taught them to blow the paper off of straws, which they still love to do.
I was pleasantly surprised to see my "Encouragment" article linked here. Thank you! wb