Transformation
Rather than conform to what this world wants from me, I rather be transformed by the continuous renewal of mind spirit and heart in my relationship with God. As I work to transform random beads and pearls into beautiful works of art, God is doing the same in me. While I clean the funk out of my kitchen, scrub out the gunk, God is doing the same in me. While I sit on the play room floor teaching Miss Wiggles new things, God is doing the same for me.
That I had the words to simply explain, to easily explain the freedom I know in Jesus. I once chased after the illusion that I could ever be good enough to always please those around me. What a fruitless tiring waste of energy that was. The more I gave, the more was demanded and none of it was for what was best for me. Oh that I could make this make sense.
On my walk this morning God opened my eyes to a fresh perspective of how he sees us when we are carried away in sin, in a lie Satan or the world has told us that we have believed like believing there is freedom outside of a relationship with Him. I look at my own child and reflect on what my own mom felt watching her children make poor choices. I think about going through that with my own child. I think about God going through that with His. Then my eyes are open to it! When I believe a lie of Satan's when I am in a stronghold, when I've strayed, God isn't mad at me, He isn't shaking his head at me, He isn't saying, "Katie, I'm disappointed in you." No! His expectations of me are directly proportionate to what He knows I am capable of. He knows that I live with a cancer called sin that Satan is always prowling waiting, sneaking in deception. I understands and His daddy heart grieves when He sees me make a choice based on those lies, based on that sin. I know this because that is a parent's heart, a heart so full of love it desires only the best and that daddy's heart in a God so perfect so omniscient, omnipresent, so loving, so pure He can only be for us.
If He is for us then who gives a flying leap who is against us?!
I recall the end of the Narnia series when everyone has walked through the old dark barn door into the New Narnia as the old Narnia passes away. To those who knew Aslan they saw the New Narnia, clearer, brighter, better. To those who didn't they sat huddled together believing they were in that dank dark musty barn. They could only see the dark as no lamp lit the darkness for them and no amount of prodding from the others could persuade them otherwise. Well, I see! And I continue to see more and more as light replaces the darkness. Oh that I could full explain the joy in me. If only I can explain the peace, a peace that has nothing to do with my circumstances. This is the same peace that was with me in the hospital saying goodbye to my Grandpa for the last time, the peace when I was in the hospital both times saying goodbye to my babies and the time I lay calmly waiting for the doctor to take from my own belly that sweet little girl who dances to Toby Mac in my living room. It is the same firm peace that surpasses all understanding.
I think as I write this some may think I am full of myself thinking my way is the right way and any other way is wrong like I'm full of myself or something. That I'm some sort of lunatic.
Well, I hope they will see in me something worth having. Something so worth it, being a lunatic is much better than the sanity they currently hold.
That I had the words to simply explain, to easily explain the freedom I know in Jesus. I once chased after the illusion that I could ever be good enough to always please those around me. What a fruitless tiring waste of energy that was. The more I gave, the more was demanded and none of it was for what was best for me. Oh that I could make this make sense.
On my walk this morning God opened my eyes to a fresh perspective of how he sees us when we are carried away in sin, in a lie Satan or the world has told us that we have believed like believing there is freedom outside of a relationship with Him. I look at my own child and reflect on what my own mom felt watching her children make poor choices. I think about going through that with my own child. I think about God going through that with His. Then my eyes are open to it! When I believe a lie of Satan's when I am in a stronghold, when I've strayed, God isn't mad at me, He isn't shaking his head at me, He isn't saying, "Katie, I'm disappointed in you." No! His expectations of me are directly proportionate to what He knows I am capable of. He knows that I live with a cancer called sin that Satan is always prowling waiting, sneaking in deception. I understands and His daddy heart grieves when He sees me make a choice based on those lies, based on that sin. I know this because that is a parent's heart, a heart so full of love it desires only the best and that daddy's heart in a God so perfect so omniscient, omnipresent, so loving, so pure He can only be for us.
If He is for us then who gives a flying leap who is against us?!
I recall the end of the Narnia series when everyone has walked through the old dark barn door into the New Narnia as the old Narnia passes away. To those who knew Aslan they saw the New Narnia, clearer, brighter, better. To those who didn't they sat huddled together believing they were in that dank dark musty barn. They could only see the dark as no lamp lit the darkness for them and no amount of prodding from the others could persuade them otherwise. Well, I see! And I continue to see more and more as light replaces the darkness. Oh that I could full explain the joy in me. If only I can explain the peace, a peace that has nothing to do with my circumstances. This is the same peace that was with me in the hospital saying goodbye to my Grandpa for the last time, the peace when I was in the hospital both times saying goodbye to my babies and the time I lay calmly waiting for the doctor to take from my own belly that sweet little girl who dances to Toby Mac in my living room. It is the same firm peace that surpasses all understanding.
I think as I write this some may think I am full of myself thinking my way is the right way and any other way is wrong like I'm full of myself or something. That I'm some sort of lunatic.
Well, I hope they will see in me something worth having. Something so worth it, being a lunatic is much better than the sanity they currently hold.
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