A lesson well learned again and again and again

Today my pastor taught right from Revelations 19. I was so struck by this chapter. I was really taken aback as I sat and listened and then a realization came to me while we took the Lord's Supper. If I gave my life to God, then why do I feel so hurt when He does something that is not what I want. I forget that in giving my life to God, it is His to do with as He pleases. I am not my own any longer so when things happen that I don't like, like not being pregnant, not being nearer my family, being far away from my closest friends., not yet finding job etc. I realize God is shaping me for His purpose. He is making me to be more kind, patient, merciful, forgiving, honest, self controlled, loving, joyful, peaceful etc (Galatians 5:22-26). In order to truly possess these things as part of myself then I know I need to be in situations that challenge me to do the opposite. My mom prayed for patience, she got five kids. I can see how things I have prayed in the past are being worked out in my daily life and circumstances. In Revelation 19 the writer talks about Jesus bride preparing for His return. Verses seven and eight say, "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean was given to her to wear. (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.)" I realized today that it only makes sense that to be a part of the bride of Christ (the church) I am certainly not ready in my current state. I mean seriously, I realize this is probably is over simplified and maybe childish but I imagine me alone being married to Christ, God the Father having made me co-heir with Jesus inheriting all of Heaven and Earth(Galatians 4:7). I don't know what day God will decide to call me home but as long as I still have time here on earth, I have a lot of work to do. I'll never be worthy, but as long as God wants to perfect me, I guess then I am willing, not always FEELING willing, but choosing to be willing none the less.