Guest Blogger, SIL Laura
I am excited to have my blogging sisters guest blog this week. Today we have my SIL, Laura, guest blogging five great ways to affirm you spouse. Tomorrow, Tuesday will be my SIL, Julie and Wed. will be my sister, Michelle.
How I connect with my Husband (while working PT out of the house and FT mother)
Using the 5 Love Languages
1.) QUALITY TIME: For my hubby and me, our ideas of quality time are totally different from one another. Sometimes, I feel that just me being in the same room is enough for him. LOL I have found out, though, after 7 years of marriage that the best quality time that the two of us, alone, have is when we sit and talk with each other. This can be about our kids, our days, or even almost a bible study of sorts. Just as long as there are no other distractions, like the television or the kids, to interrupt that bonding time. I also find that, more often that not, our time as our whole family together is the best quality time spent!
2.) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: This is my hubby’s main love language! AS far as how I connect with him on this, well, it’s actually difficult. Now that I’m working a couple days a week, it’s hard to catch something that he’s done without him telling me about it first. See, I like to be able to praise him for things I’ve seen that he’s done to help me out (that I haven’t already asked him to do). Don’t get me wrong, I still thank him and acknowledge him for the things on his honey-do list the he accomplished, but I know that he really likes when I notice things he wasn’t asked to do. The problem is most of the time, he’s so excited that he did something above and beyond that he calls and tells me about it before I get home. LOL So, I try everyday to point out something he did at home, he did at work, he did with the kids, or that he eve said to me sometime during the day, that meant something and/or helped me out! I find that when I do that, it not only makes his day, but it makes mine as well because I just got to see him so excited and happy that someone noticed! J
3.) GIFTS: This is the least on S’s list (at least not the physical, open up, type gifts). That makes things nice, but also difficult. Financially, it definitely works! But, because buying something isn’t always what works, I have to think outside of the box. When working PT and being a FT mother, thinking out of the box isn’t always easy. When I do give him physical gifts, I make sure to really pay attention to everything he ever talks about. Then I try to get something, within reason of course, that is what he would talk about the most. Usually it’s just something he will talk about casually, but it comes up often. That way, he never really suspects what he’s getting. It’s almost always a surprise and a good one at that! He knows then, that I put thought into it and didn’t just run off and pick something up. J
4.) ACTS OF SERVICE: This sort of ties in with gifts for my hubby as he looks at service as a gift more than anything else. I know that my hubby always appreciates when I keep the clutter down around the house. The whole house doesn’t need to be spotless, but the clutter on the counters and such makes an incredible difference to him! This is not easy for me! For those of you who know me, cleaning is not my forte, and now with working and being 5 months pregnant, it makes things even more difficult! But, this is one I’m really trying to work on. If I can just get the kitchen counters/island cleaned off daily, I’m doing really well! That’s the place most “stuff” gets thrown throughout the day and it’s the first thing you come to when you walk in the house. So, if that’s cleaned off when he gets home, he walks in with a much better mood, no matter how his day went. Besides keeping the clutter down and cleaning the house, anytime I go out of my way to help him out (in whatever I can), that’s always a way to put a smile on his face and connect with him! J
5.) PHYSICAL TOUCH: Well, what’s there to say about this one?!?! He’s a guy, so how hard is this one to figure out!?! LOL J Honestly, though, when it comes to having 2 kids (5 and under), 5 months pregnant, and working a physically demanding job, when do I have the time, desire, or even the strength and alertness? Well, it’s tough, I won’t deny that! You know the saying “women are crock pots.”? Well, I used to think that because of that, he had to do anything and everything that would warm up that crock pot (don’t let your minds go in the gutters, ladies and gentlemen; it’s not all about that). But, he is a father of 2 kids (5 and under), works a full time job (45 hrs or more per week), an Elder in our church, and has a wife 5 months pregnant. When does he have all that time and energy to be “warming” the crock pot? So, I’m finding that, for me to get what I want out of it, and for him to get what he wants out of it, I need to be more proactive! So, at night when the kids go to bed, I cuddle up on the couch next to him and we watch television for a while. During the day, I think about him often and think about the good times that we’ve shared and how much I love him. Those things, in conjunction with the other love language things I do, result with the physical closeness that God designed for us to have and that both of us desire in our own way!
I don’t want anyone to get me wrong. None of these things I listed here are always easy and natural for me to do. I have to work at some of them more than others. I do, however, love to see my hubby happy. So, it’s worth it! J Marriage itself is not always easy, and then you add the pressures of jobs, kids, money, etc…. (Life) in the mix, it gets even harder! But, I love my hubby and he is such a wonderful gift and blessing from God that he is worth working for and with, to make this marriage everything I can be and more! I wouldn’t trade a single day of our 7 ½ years of marriage! I can’t wait to continue towards many more years and many more adventures that come our way. I will continue to love my hubby in all ways. I will also continue to look to God in all things b/c that is how we learn and grow together and stay connected!
UPDATE: Sorry I forgot to announce the giveaway winner from last week. Leanne at Organize Everything is the winner of the the necklace, Driftwood. Congratulation! Leanne, please just e-mail me your address and I will get your necklace to you post haste. :)
How I connect with my Husband (while working PT out of the house and FT mother)
Using the 5 Love Languages
1.) QUALITY TIME: For my hubby and me, our ideas of quality time are totally different from one another. Sometimes, I feel that just me being in the same room is enough for him. LOL I have found out, though, after 7 years of marriage that the best quality time that the two of us, alone, have is when we sit and talk with each other. This can be about our kids, our days, or even almost a bible study of sorts. Just as long as there are no other distractions, like the television or the kids, to interrupt that bonding time. I also find that, more often that not, our time as our whole family together is the best quality time spent!
2.) WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: This is my hubby’s main love language! AS far as how I connect with him on this, well, it’s actually difficult. Now that I’m working a couple days a week, it’s hard to catch something that he’s done without him telling me about it first. See, I like to be able to praise him for things I’ve seen that he’s done to help me out (that I haven’t already asked him to do). Don’t get me wrong, I still thank him and acknowledge him for the things on his honey-do list the he accomplished, but I know that he really likes when I notice things he wasn’t asked to do. The problem is most of the time, he’s so excited that he did something above and beyond that he calls and tells me about it before I get home. LOL So, I try everyday to point out something he did at home, he did at work, he did with the kids, or that he eve said to me sometime during the day, that meant something and/or helped me out! I find that when I do that, it not only makes his day, but it makes mine as well because I just got to see him so excited and happy that someone noticed! J
3.) GIFTS: This is the least on S’s list (at least not the physical, open up, type gifts). That makes things nice, but also difficult. Financially, it definitely works! But, because buying something isn’t always what works, I have to think outside of the box. When working PT and being a FT mother, thinking out of the box isn’t always easy. When I do give him physical gifts, I make sure to really pay attention to everything he ever talks about. Then I try to get something, within reason of course, that is what he would talk about the most. Usually it’s just something he will talk about casually, but it comes up often. That way, he never really suspects what he’s getting. It’s almost always a surprise and a good one at that! He knows then, that I put thought into it and didn’t just run off and pick something up. J
4.) ACTS OF SERVICE: This sort of ties in with gifts for my hubby as he looks at service as a gift more than anything else. I know that my hubby always appreciates when I keep the clutter down around the house. The whole house doesn’t need to be spotless, but the clutter on the counters and such makes an incredible difference to him! This is not easy for me! For those of you who know me, cleaning is not my forte, and now with working and being 5 months pregnant, it makes things even more difficult! But, this is one I’m really trying to work on. If I can just get the kitchen counters/island cleaned off daily, I’m doing really well! That’s the place most “stuff” gets thrown throughout the day and it’s the first thing you come to when you walk in the house. So, if that’s cleaned off when he gets home, he walks in with a much better mood, no matter how his day went. Besides keeping the clutter down and cleaning the house, anytime I go out of my way to help him out (in whatever I can), that’s always a way to put a smile on his face and connect with him! J
5.) PHYSICAL TOUCH: Well, what’s there to say about this one?!?! He’s a guy, so how hard is this one to figure out!?! LOL J Honestly, though, when it comes to having 2 kids (5 and under), 5 months pregnant, and working a physically demanding job, when do I have the time, desire, or even the strength and alertness? Well, it’s tough, I won’t deny that! You know the saying “women are crock pots.”? Well, I used to think that because of that, he had to do anything and everything that would warm up that crock pot (don’t let your minds go in the gutters, ladies and gentlemen; it’s not all about that). But, he is a father of 2 kids (5 and under), works a full time job (45 hrs or more per week), an Elder in our church, and has a wife 5 months pregnant. When does he have all that time and energy to be “warming” the crock pot? So, I’m finding that, for me to get what I want out of it, and for him to get what he wants out of it, I need to be more proactive! So, at night when the kids go to bed, I cuddle up on the couch next to him and we watch television for a while. During the day, I think about him often and think about the good times that we’ve shared and how much I love him. Those things, in conjunction with the other love language things I do, result with the physical closeness that God designed for us to have and that both of us desire in our own way!
I don’t want anyone to get me wrong. None of these things I listed here are always easy and natural for me to do. I have to work at some of them more than others. I do, however, love to see my hubby happy. So, it’s worth it! J Marriage itself is not always easy, and then you add the pressures of jobs, kids, money, etc…. (Life) in the mix, it gets even harder! But, I love my hubby and he is such a wonderful gift and blessing from God that he is worth working for and with, to make this marriage everything I can be and more! I wouldn’t trade a single day of our 7 ½ years of marriage! I can’t wait to continue towards many more years and many more adventures that come our way. I will continue to love my hubby in all ways. I will also continue to look to God in all things b/c that is how we learn and grow together and stay connected!
UPDATE: Sorry I forgot to announce the giveaway winner from last week. Leanne at Organize Everything is the winner of the the necklace, Driftwood. Congratulation! Leanne, please just e-mail me your address and I will get your necklace to you post haste. :)
Comments
I esp liked this statement: "I can’t wait to continue towards many more years and many more adventures that come our way."
That is a healthy perspective! And you will find happiness. Good job, Laura.
Katie - good guest post today! Coincidentally, I have a post up called "Lasting and Happy" about marriage if you get a chance to link over. wb