I want to turn over a new leaf God, just not that one.

Dan called this morning and asked me to get his shirt he wore yesterday. He didn't even need to tell me I emmediately knew from the tone in his voice what was wrong. I picked the shirt out of the hamper, looked in the breast pocket. Yup, there it was his ID to get on base and his only way to gain access to computers to work once he got there. We live an hour and a half from his work. Yes, we are trying to sell our house but that is a story for another time. This was a large straw on the back of his camel. I felt his frustration as I too have been dealing with circumstances outside of my control. On the phone this morning with a heavy sigh, he said he just decided to turn over a new leaf at work, try a different way of dealing with things and then stuff like that has been happening all week. It hits me, Dan and I both have decided to turn over a new leaf, just not the leaf God is turning over in us.

I love the song Alone by Barlow Girls. It talks about not feeling God's presence but knowing from what He says in His words that no matter what I feel, He is always with me. That speaks to us right now because despite how we are feeling, despite what things look like, despite the circumstance, we are never alone, God will NEVER forsake us. I love that and it is necessary sometimes for God to allow for a season when feelings and circumstances to show otherwise so that we recenter ourselves in Him rather than on earthly things. As Dan and I realize, it is times like these that help us to have deeper faith as well as more compassion, forgivness and mercy for those around us. After all, I'm sure I've popped off at atleast one cashier this week. Next time someone gets snippy with me or there is some percieved slight, I will try to remember there is always more than meets the eye.