You know that perfect storm of circumstance that cause insecurity? I hate it.

So, life is going great, things are well, progressing nicely...then bam, bam, bam! Next thing you know your rife with insecurity and feeling vulnerable when once you were one top of the world.

Every one experiences and it stinks that I am no different.

God has seriously been blessing me lately with so many wonderful people and opportunities. Spending time with my youth group, my recent time with family, the cutest daughter and husband in the whole world. The list goes on and on and on.

It only takes one though. Well, a little more than that recently but that one was a doozie. I know God wants my security to lie in what he thinks of me. In His eyes, I'm worth dieing for. He knows me and loves me anyway. Pretty cool. God also made me relational, umh, human. So when a person whom I love ever so dearly recently utterly rejected me, it sent my into quite a tail spin. I saw it coming in hind sight, but it didn't make it easier. It still hurt, still hurts, will continue to hurt.

This coupled with some other miscommunication or what not, well, the perfect storm on my security level. Satan is good at that, lull me into a security where who I am depends on what others think of me. It isn't a problem when every one around me loves me and thinks I'm great. When they don't, bam!

This isn't about me as a victim though. Like I said earlier, I don't do victim. I do however recognize that God's word is clear, He loves me. He is all sufficient. When I lean on God, I am free to give love to others and not be a leech on their love for me. Ultimately when people do hurtful things or what may appear to be hurtful (miscommunication happens), if my security is in God then my response is entirely different. When I lean on people's perception of me then when it is negative, I tumble I lash out even. God is a solid rock. So depend on Him means my actions follow a very different route.

Here is what I mean as written by Ruth Bell Graham (love that woman) in the NIV Women's Devotional Bible:

Verse for the day: Psalm 37:12-13, Passage for the day: Psalm 37:10-17

Don't Fret

WHEN "the wicked plot...the LORD laughs" (also see Psalm 2:4)
When he prospers, don't fret (Psalm 39:6-7)
When he persecutes:
Rejoice and be glad (Matthew 5:12).
Love your enemies (Matthew 5:44).
Bless them (Romans 12:14).
Do good to them. (Luke 6:27).
Pray for them.(Matthew 5:44).

Ruth Bell Graham had the right idea. In my prayer time this morning, I really asked God to help me love those I really rather not. My flesh is weak and, just like everybody I suppose, I don't relish putting my heart out again knowing it will most likely get hurt again. At least when I do so encompassed by God's love for me, I will stand and be ok.

"If the LORD, delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand....Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever. For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake the faithful ones. Psalm37: 23-24, 27-28

Comments

Warren Baldwin said…
Very good post! I like the list you gave from Mrs. Graham about what to do when faced with enemies. Really, we don't have the "luxury" of having enemies, do we? Everyone we meet, even those that are "challenging", we view from the perspective of the cross. Good post.
I understand your battle. I wish unlovelies were easier to love. I'm so glad you choosing to remain where love in secure. In God's hand.

Have a gloriously blessed weekend, friend.

I feel the heat today myself.

Love,
Tiffany
KissandCoos said…
May the next year of your life be filled with joy and happiness. Wish we were closer so I could take you out for coffee and desserts. Since we aren't I am toasting you with my glass of chocolate milk! Happy Birthday Katie! (Meant to post that sooner)

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