A Married Gal's Take on Single Life
I've had some conversations lately; some reminiscing about back in my single days, some about people's current single days and listening to others talk about back when they were single. I was reminded this morning about being single and wishing it away (not that that is what my friend was doing, I was just reminded of it). I though I would give my married girl of 5 1/2 years view on being single.
First of all, I'm not against the longing to be married when your single. I did it, and being married (to the right person) is awesome. I love being married. No, the point isn't to prove one is better than the other but to makes sure every moment of your life is all they can be and not wished away waiting for the next moment. The adventures simply change but there are still adventures. Interestingly enough, it was trying to get pregnant for three years that taught me this the importance of "not spending today waiting for tomorrow". I spent three years single mindedly (no pun intended) focused on one objective, to have a baby. I was so focused on it I missed opportunities that are lost to me now. When I had my dear little Miss Wiggles it was a strange feeling to have what I was working so hard to get that it took me a while to adjust to the having her time. I had trained my self into one mind set and it took a while to stop thinking in that mind set. In other words spending your life waiting for tomorrow is tough when tomorrow comes because your still in the waiting for tomorrow mind set. Does that makes sense. I hope so anyway.
So here is my ideas about what to do with being single. I know I have asked for ya'll to post your ideas, but this time I seriously mean it. I want all married and singles to contribute to this one.
*Group Road trips: Way back in my single day I took some amazing trips. I lived in Arizona so I took frequent day trips with friends to Sadona, Flagstaff, Prescott and some other places. We ventured about stopping when ever we wanted to, staying as long as we wanted to and getting back home when we felt like it. I remember twisting my ankle at a gass station at 2 in the morning. Those were good times. The shananigans that brought about that twisted ankle still brings a smile to my face. I also recall my brother, J, taking trips to go surf in California. He and his buddies just slept in their cars and surfed. Trust me for every year you get older it gets less likely that opportunity is going to come a knockin'. Go see a movie alone. Hey, you will be with you forever so get to know yourself. Learn to like hanging out with you so that you are a better you to hang out with others. :)
*More time to invest in friendships: A friend is having a hard time? No problem hop in the car at 11 at night and go be there for them. Talk until sun rise on the phone. No matter where you are in life, your time alotted is the same. You have a set amount of yourself that you can invest in relationships. When you get married a big chunk of that is given to your spouse, have kids and well, you get my point. I remember driving across town at 10pm to hang at a friend's sound studio to watch him make a cd. I recall the time it was a no brainer to hop in my car and go be with a friend who had her heart broken. I didn't have my own house to take care of so I had no problem going and cleaning my SIL, Laura's when she needed a little extra help (she was married and had a baby on the way so needed the help.)
*Want to get married more than anything? Practice now. Marriage means serving, giving and sacrifice. Learn some of it now by spending time with the married folk. My senior year of high school, I realized that just being an adult was a whole new ball game. I needed help. So along came S and C, a married couple that came along side me and made their live's transparent so that I could see and learn from their lives. I met with S and she listened and guided me patiently, continously, and sometimes repetitively until I got it. S taught me how to better communicate, work through conflict and how to be a Christ centered woman. I was able to go to C and ask him for the "man's point of view" on many things. I also went to my brother, Scott for that as well. These relationships were more priceless that I can say.
*Want someone to love? Start now! I am a server. I love to serve. I wanted a husband to take care of. I didn't have one six years ago, so I found someone to serve and take care of. Fortunately I had somebody right in my own home, my younger brother. I loved taking care of him, staying up past 10pm waiting so he could have someone to talk to, doing his laundry, dispensing advise when he wanted it, we even took turns buying stuff like soap and toothpaste (we were both college kids at the time). J was awesome as well. I remember once, he saw I was having a bad time of it and he went without saying a word and cleaned the bathroom and did my laundry. It still warms my heart to think of it. Good times.
Its four things but four important things. Take advantage of the time you have now to take adventures, treasure all the friendships you can and love those you have right now. Each season in itself is an adventure. Build who you are as a single person so that later when you are married you will be a stronger contributer to the relationship. Be a weak single person and you will be a weak married person as well.
First of all, I'm not against the longing to be married when your single. I did it, and being married (to the right person) is awesome. I love being married. No, the point isn't to prove one is better than the other but to makes sure every moment of your life is all they can be and not wished away waiting for the next moment. The adventures simply change but there are still adventures. Interestingly enough, it was trying to get pregnant for three years that taught me this the importance of "not spending today waiting for tomorrow". I spent three years single mindedly (no pun intended) focused on one objective, to have a baby. I was so focused on it I missed opportunities that are lost to me now. When I had my dear little Miss Wiggles it was a strange feeling to have what I was working so hard to get that it took me a while to adjust to the having her time. I had trained my self into one mind set and it took a while to stop thinking in that mind set. In other words spending your life waiting for tomorrow is tough when tomorrow comes because your still in the waiting for tomorrow mind set. Does that makes sense. I hope so anyway.
So here is my ideas about what to do with being single. I know I have asked for ya'll to post your ideas, but this time I seriously mean it. I want all married and singles to contribute to this one.
*Group Road trips: Way back in my single day I took some amazing trips. I lived in Arizona so I took frequent day trips with friends to Sadona, Flagstaff, Prescott and some other places. We ventured about stopping when ever we wanted to, staying as long as we wanted to and getting back home when we felt like it. I remember twisting my ankle at a gass station at 2 in the morning. Those were good times. The shananigans that brought about that twisted ankle still brings a smile to my face. I also recall my brother, J, taking trips to go surf in California. He and his buddies just slept in their cars and surfed. Trust me for every year you get older it gets less likely that opportunity is going to come a knockin'. Go see a movie alone. Hey, you will be with you forever so get to know yourself. Learn to like hanging out with you so that you are a better you to hang out with others. :)
*More time to invest in friendships: A friend is having a hard time? No problem hop in the car at 11 at night and go be there for them. Talk until sun rise on the phone. No matter where you are in life, your time alotted is the same. You have a set amount of yourself that you can invest in relationships. When you get married a big chunk of that is given to your spouse, have kids and well, you get my point. I remember driving across town at 10pm to hang at a friend's sound studio to watch him make a cd. I recall the time it was a no brainer to hop in my car and go be with a friend who had her heart broken. I didn't have my own house to take care of so I had no problem going and cleaning my SIL, Laura's when she needed a little extra help (she was married and had a baby on the way so needed the help.)
*Want to get married more than anything? Practice now. Marriage means serving, giving and sacrifice. Learn some of it now by spending time with the married folk. My senior year of high school, I realized that just being an adult was a whole new ball game. I needed help. So along came S and C, a married couple that came along side me and made their live's transparent so that I could see and learn from their lives. I met with S and she listened and guided me patiently, continously, and sometimes repetitively until I got it. S taught me how to better communicate, work through conflict and how to be a Christ centered woman. I was able to go to C and ask him for the "man's point of view" on many things. I also went to my brother, Scott for that as well. These relationships were more priceless that I can say.
*Want someone to love? Start now! I am a server. I love to serve. I wanted a husband to take care of. I didn't have one six years ago, so I found someone to serve and take care of. Fortunately I had somebody right in my own home, my younger brother. I loved taking care of him, staying up past 10pm waiting so he could have someone to talk to, doing his laundry, dispensing advise when he wanted it, we even took turns buying stuff like soap and toothpaste (we were both college kids at the time). J was awesome as well. I remember once, he saw I was having a bad time of it and he went without saying a word and cleaned the bathroom and did my laundry. It still warms my heart to think of it. Good times.
Its four things but four important things. Take advantage of the time you have now to take adventures, treasure all the friendships you can and love those you have right now. Each season in itself is an adventure. Build who you are as a single person so that later when you are married you will be a stronger contributer to the relationship. Be a weak single person and you will be a weak married person as well.
Comments
Have a Merry Christmas with your family. wb