I trail of conciousness from a mom of a toddler
I'll regroup, I always do, I'll feel out of control for only a bit but I will regroup. Right now though, I'm just plane spiraling out of control.
Sometimes there isn't a right choice being a mommy, there is just a choice that needs to be made so make it already and stick with it basically. I hate that today is the day to take my daughters bottle away, but there is no perfect day to wait for to be the right day. It isn't going to come. Trust me I waited for it and in waiting I am now paying for that hope for "the right time" and so is Miss Wiggles. I was going to wait until after our trip to visit family but now here I have on my hands a baby girl at 13 months old (well next week she will be 13 months but close enough) who fresh off her immunization fever won't eat anything she normally does and won't have anything but a bottle. She refuses the sippy cup, all of them and trust me, we've tried them all. I'm thinking being sick has changed the way everything tastes so we are back to the drawing board on that one. I found some baby foods she hasn't eaten yet and those are the only ones she will eat. She puts her macaroni and cheese or apply butter on wheat bread, or gold fish or Gerber puffs, or whatever in her mouth and then spits it out. She won't drink milk or juice or water.
Looking back I see that I missed the easy transition window for the sippy cup. Things could have been easier if I had not missed her one year appointment two weeks ago and rescheduled for this last Monday. I'm not the most organized person. I want to be, I want to have it all together, have a planner and sticky notes with lists to check off. I want organized piles of paper, I want to not procrastinate, lose my temper, feel so overwhelmed.
I'm not that mom, I'm just me. I'm trying. I realize that this is just a post put out here for me to vent. At this point I don't even care if it makes sense or you agree with it or like it.
I want to go to the beach. I've been trying to get out and go to the beach. Its only 25 minutes away. So close I'm practically inhaling the salty sea air. I've also been trying to get to the grocery store and the dry cleaners. You know which is going to win. I'm zapped.
I'm so guilty. Feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated when it isn't me who had the fever or the sore mouth or upset tummy. I know what is going on, the who what when were whys of it all. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. God has been sending little encourager's all day, the police woman I chatted with in the Target parking lot and then the friend I ran into in the Target. Then the friendly mom who offered encouragement.
I'm praying. I throw them at God kind of a lot more frantically than peacefully but I'm lobing them as often as I can because I refuse to let that be an area I put on the back burner or the ball I drop. The ground is strewn around me with balls I've let slip away.
I'll regroup, I'll figure it out just in time for the next thing, but I will figure it out.
Sometimes there isn't a right choice being a mommy, there is just a choice that needs to be made so make it already and stick with it basically. I hate that today is the day to take my daughters bottle away, but there is no perfect day to wait for to be the right day. It isn't going to come. Trust me I waited for it and in waiting I am now paying for that hope for "the right time" and so is Miss Wiggles. I was going to wait until after our trip to visit family but now here I have on my hands a baby girl at 13 months old (well next week she will be 13 months but close enough) who fresh off her immunization fever won't eat anything she normally does and won't have anything but a bottle. She refuses the sippy cup, all of them and trust me, we've tried them all. I'm thinking being sick has changed the way everything tastes so we are back to the drawing board on that one. I found some baby foods she hasn't eaten yet and those are the only ones she will eat. She puts her macaroni and cheese or apply butter on wheat bread, or gold fish or Gerber puffs, or whatever in her mouth and then spits it out. She won't drink milk or juice or water.
Looking back I see that I missed the easy transition window for the sippy cup. Things could have been easier if I had not missed her one year appointment two weeks ago and rescheduled for this last Monday. I'm not the most organized person. I want to be, I want to have it all together, have a planner and sticky notes with lists to check off. I want organized piles of paper, I want to not procrastinate, lose my temper, feel so overwhelmed.
I'm not that mom, I'm just me. I'm trying. I realize that this is just a post put out here for me to vent. At this point I don't even care if it makes sense or you agree with it or like it.
I want to go to the beach. I've been trying to get out and go to the beach. Its only 25 minutes away. So close I'm practically inhaling the salty sea air. I've also been trying to get to the grocery store and the dry cleaners. You know which is going to win. I'm zapped.
I'm so guilty. Feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated when it isn't me who had the fever or the sore mouth or upset tummy. I know what is going on, the who what when were whys of it all. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. God has been sending little encourager's all day, the police woman I chatted with in the Target parking lot and then the friend I ran into in the Target. Then the friendly mom who offered encouragement.
I'm praying. I throw them at God kind of a lot more frantically than peacefully but I'm lobing them as often as I can because I refuse to let that be an area I put on the back burner or the ball I drop. The ground is strewn around me with balls I've let slip away.
I'll regroup, I'll figure it out just in time for the next thing, but I will figure it out.
Comments
Parenting is a tough call, and we have to hang tough. When she is hungry enough she will come around.
My current post is one about parenting. Doesn't address this issue exactly, but might have something that connects.
If you do still want advice, here is mine. Just quit. Quit the whole thing for as long as it takes until you are no longer frustrated. If she doesn't feel well, she prob wants the thing that gives her the most comfort. I always wondered who made up all these rules about having to be done with a bottle at a year or potty train by 3 or never rock your baby to sleep.
Guess what, babies don't fit into a pattern. If she is 13months and still drinking a bottle, who cares? If it makes you sane and her sane and you are the one who has to live at your house, then I say give that girl a bottle. Then regroup. I had to do that with potty training. I realized it wasn't the right time so I stopped and waited until I felt saner. God is with you, this is what dying to self is all about. We learn we aren't in control. You are doing good girl. Just give yourself a break and start over when it is time.